Another Stupid Grin And A Spilt Milkshake
by idkgirl27
Summary: Cartman's proposal might not have been the most romantic one and he might not have chosen the right words but lucky for him he chose the right boy to ask. Cartters/Cutters/Buttman/Butteric (a birthday present for xStylennyButtmanx)


**A/N: So turns out xStylennyButtmanx had a birthday!**

**As a gift I present this…..**

**Happy birthday, xStylennyButtmanx!**

**Please read and please enjoy :)**

Eric Theodore Cartman was not any under circumstances easy to please.

The second that he laid his eyes on anything or anyone he was quick to analyze all its' benefit and shortcomings it had, if it failed to meet up to his standards than that's how it would stay unwanted and a waste of his time.

The only thing that had ever overcome a failed first impression wasn't a thing at all but was a certain boy known as Leopold 'Butters' Stotch.

If there was ever anyone destined to be the victim of fellow students cruelty than it was this stuttering mess of a boy but even back then something about the slightly pathetic Stotch child struck Cartman as odd.

But back then he had been too young to realize what these feelings really were and had come his own decision that the instant connection he felt between them was fate offering the blonde as his own personal minion.

However that first impression isn't our current concern because that was years ago in preschool and now the boys are sixteen and in the junior year of high school.

Earlier this week had been Cartman's birthday and Butters had been planning for months on a gift he thought his boyfriend would love.

Sure the two had only been dating for roughly a year but Butters had always known Cartman for what he was, a showoff.

That was part of the reason Cartman had finally come out of the closet to claim what fate had given him back in preschool.

Butters had always been stupidly adorable.

He had a happy go lucky personality and had remained under the 5 foot mark. He had bright blue eyes that were too large for his baby face and slight roll of baby fat.

That was until summer break which also happened roughly a year ago.

He had seemed to disappear without a word and after vigorous internal debate he had caved in and asked the Stotch parents for their son's location,

Turned out he had gone to spend his summer with his Aunt Nellie in Los Angeles.

Cartman couldn't help but feel a bit hurt that Butters could just up and leave him without a goodbye but he wasn't about to tell anyone this. So he kept his thoughts of Butters to himself and spent his break getting into the usual distractions that South Park had to offer and by the end of break his little blonde crush was pushed to the back of his mind.

On one of the last days of summer the boys decided to go get something to eat and chose a rather unremarkable fast food joint.

Well, it had been unremarkable until the doors opened and Butters finally made his reappearance in South Park.

Cartman was the first to notice and Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were quick to turn their heads to see what had stopped Cartman from continuing another one of his anti-sematic speeches.

Three of the boys ignored the blonde and went back to their conversation, unimpressed and uninterested in Butters' presence.

Cartman, on the other hand, was a completely different story.

He had long ago come to the conclusion that he was gay and that more importantly that Butters was the object of all his gay desires. Like mentioned before Butters was cute and as pathetic as he was he could always get Cartman's heart racing and blood pumping.

However this Butters was different.

He was slightly taller, his baby fat was all gone, and he had really grown into his previously awkward features, going from a pathetic little gaywad into a beautiful petite young man. He had physically matured into who he was going to be and to say Cartman liked what he saw would have been a massive understatement.

Cartman's heart was in his throat, the butterflies in his stomach, and his heart beat was ringing in his ears.

He licked his lips in preparation to say something but found that his mouth had gone dry and that his voice had abandoned him.

So all he could do was watch as Butters walked straight by his table without a word or a look, instead going straight to the register.

"Dude, you realize that you've been staring at him this whole time, right?"

The knowledge of his location and his company comes rushing back to him and he realizes that not only was he staring but he had been caught by his friends ogling his secret crush, his eyes go straight to Stan.

"No, I wasn't!"

"Cartman's got a crush on Butters. I've been telling you guys this for years now."

Kenny's tone is more bored than teasing. Spending life as a background character gave him a lot of time to just sit back and watch the others and Cartman's feelings had always been one of the more obvious things to him.

"Shut up, Kenny! If anyone's the faggot here then it's you!"

Cartman's cheeks are flushed and his eyes narrow the instance they meet an emerald pair.

Kyle chuckles as he lifts a single French fry to his mouth, smirking as he addresses the situation.

"Come on, fatass, everyone already knows that you wanna bone him. Not that you'd stand a chance…."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?! I could totally get him if I wanted to! ….not that I want to…"

"Oh, we all know you want to but here's the thing, even if Butters is the gayest thing ever, you're still…" Kyle pauses as he looks to Cartman, the hate evident in his eyes, "…. **you **and you're just never going to be attractive to anyone."

Those words definitely hurt Cartman's ego. Sure he had been planning to live his life without ever revealing his true feelings but he had always like to think that if he wanted Butters all he'd have to do is ask.

The only thing that had really been stopping him was that he didn't want anyone to know that he wanted Butters _that _way but apparently everyone was well aware of how he felt and now that Kyle was doubting his attractiveness he figured that he might as well kill two birds with one stone.

"Well, just watch me, jewboy…."

Cartman stands up but the second he turns away his friends go back to their conversation, not really invested in Cartman's love life, but since Cartman is up he might as well carry on with his plan.

Butters is on the other side of the restaurant sitting at a table with a milkshake looking down at his hands every now and then.

Cartman knows what determination is, he's felt it numerous times before, but he's barely started walking over and he already wants to call it quits.

He had tried to take his time but the restaurant was still small and in no time at all he had found himself plopping down in the seat across from Butters.

"Hey, fag."

It didn't matter that all these years Cartman had had been crushing on him, the brunette had never let up on the name calling. It was his last defense tactic for hiding all his gay feelings for the Stotch boy.

Butters looks up quickly from his hands and his eyes go wide as a smile spreads across his face, "Oh, Eric!"

He stands up, leaning over the table to hug Cartman whose gone red-faced and paralyzed in the embrace.

Since Butters is still pretty short he's practically lying on the table to reach the brunette who realizes that he's got a pretty good view of Butters' behind at this angle and that the blonde still has some baby fat where it counts the most but as soon as he notices how great Butters is **really **looking the embrace ends and Butters sits back down.

"Oh,Eric, ya know I m-missed you an awful bunch! I mean, I did have fun in LA and I met all these new people!"

While it seemed that Butters went through puberty over the break Cartman is happy to hear that his voice is still as sweet and soft as ever and that's just another thing he missed over the break, Butters' voice.

"Oh, and Eric I met all these… all these guys too! They were so nice and funny and-"

"Shut up, Butters, I don't want to hear about your gayass Californian friends!"

More specifically Cartman didn't want to hear about **what **made these guys so nice.

"I'm s-sorry. It was rude of me not to ask how you've been d-doin' on the break."

Butters bites down on his lower lip before reaching for his milkshake, sipping slowly through the straw with his smooth lips.

Cartman realizes that all these guys in California were probably feeling the same way he was feeling when he looked at the blonde.

A common theme in Cartman's life had always been desire and jealousy often goes hand in hand with it.

Luckily Butters lived in South Park, where even if Cartman never admitted his feelings he could at least stop anyone else from admitting their feelings for Butters.

Cartman's mind works quickly, processing all this information, before concluding that there's only one solution to his jealousy.

"Umm, Butters…"

The blonde puts his drink down gently and looks to Cartman with even gentler eyes.

"Yeah, Eric?"

Cartman can feel his palms get sweaty and his throat's closing up.

"Fuck, um…. Look you're a faggot."

"That's not a very n-nice thing to say to me, Eric…"

"No, just listen, Butters!"

"Oh, okay."

Both boys look to each other, one waiting to listen and the other looking for words.

"Okay, so you're a faggot and well I'm…. well I like boys too but not in a faggy way like you….:

"Eric, I'm confused. It's 'kay if you're a homo."

"Don't call me a fucking homo! I don't like people. People fucking suck and they just get in my way."

The blonde's brows are furrowed and his head's tilted. He doesn't get why Eric has to be so complicated.

"Um, so are you sayin' you're asexual or somethin'? 'Cause that okay with me too, Eric."

Cartman knows that his stalling is just confusing Butters more and the Stotch boy is already confused about a lot of things. So he goes for a more straightforward approach.

"Butters, what I'm trying to say is that since you're the town's only faggot and I'm not interested in any of these skanky bitches we might as well, you know….."

"You r-really wanna be boyfriends?!"

Cartman's proposal might not have been the most romantic one and he might not have chosen the right words but lucky for him he chose the right boy to ask.

Before Cartman can tell the boy not to Butters is already reaching across the table for another hug.

"I d-didn't think ya liked me, Eric! Course I wanna be your boyfriend!"

Cartman's really to shocked for words. At the same time he's managed to get over his biggest obstacle and got the one thing he thought he'd never have.

There's no going back on his words and putting the blame on Butters because now it's official:

Eric Theodore Cartman is gay for Leopold 'Butters' Stotch.

Since Butters is too excited to notice and Cartman is too caught up in his thoughts to react neither is able to stop Butters' milkshake, which had been knocked over by the blonde accidently, from spilling onto the table and landing on Cartman's lap.

"Ah, come on, Butters!"

"I'm…. I'm s-sorry, Eric. Here let me h-help!"

Now Butters wasn't one to not fix any problem he encountered, whether or not he had anything to do with it. So while Butters might have thought that using some napkins to try to wipe the mess off of Cartman's lap was helpful it really wasn't.

Just being in the same room with Butters was enough to get Cartman going but having pressure applied to his lower region by the blonde himself was a bit too much for him at the moment.

"Quit it! I'll…. I'll go to the bathroom and clean it up myself."

Cartman's hand goes to stops Butters and when he stands up and Butters sees the look in his eyes he's scared that he might have already ruined any chance he had at a relationship with Cartman but then the brunette's eyes soften and with a blush on his cheeks leans in for a quick peck on the lips, their first kiss.

"I'll be back."

And Butters is left with yet another stupid grin and a spilt milkshake.

That day Butters didn't mind having to wait for Cartman, even though the boy was taking an unusually long time in the bathroom, he was just happy to know that **his** crush felt the same way.

But again that was at the start of their relationship or more specifically the start of their _romantic _relationship.

It just seemed that no matter what, the two would find themselves together one way or another and at least being boyfriends had more benefits than their previous master/minion relationship.

Butters' role and demeanor didn't have to change much since a requirement as a minion was complete devotion and he had always been a perfect minion for Cartman.

It was Cartman who surprised everyone. Yeah, he was still a sexist anti-Semitic asshole but at least he was capable of caring for someone besides himself.

Deep down he really did love Butters even if the words barely passed his lips and he was learning things that most people learned as young children such as sharing, compassion, and just how not to be a sexist anti-Semitic asshole.

He was quick to defend Butters from anyone that looked at him the wrong way and was even able to get Butters out of groundings.

Cartman himself had always been a glutton for food and anything else that could possibly evoke jealousy from others. So when he chose gifts for his little blonde he always made sure to get only the best because if it didn't live up to his own standards it could never be an acceptable gift for his other half.

While Butters was much more easygoing and never looking to impress anyone besides Cartman he knew that the opposite was true for his boyfriend. So when it had come time to getting Cartman a birthday present he had spent months searching for a perfect gift and when he had got a hold of the newest cellphone he thought he had found it.

Butters had never cared for the fancier things that life had to offer but even he had to admit that this phone was pretty impressive. It wasn't going to be released for another year and while it had been expensive it did come with some pretty impressive features.

So when he handed it to the brunette all wrapped up in expensive wrapping paper he had expected all sorts of reactions but not the one he got.

"Why'd you have to get it in this color?"

The tone in Cartman's voice was enough to make Butters regret ever handing the gift over.

"What do ya mean, Eric? I th-thought you liked red….."

The color of the phone had honestly been one of Butters' last concerns. As long as it wasn't pink or purple or any color that Cartman deemed as 'faggy' Butters thought it should have been okay and Cartman always did seem to like the color enough.

"Well, yeah, it's whatever but what other colors did they have?"

"Oh, well, all sorts of c-colors. They had reds and greens and blues-"

"Trade it for a blue one."

Cartman puts the phone back in the box and pushes it into Butters' hands.

"Eric, it ain't that s-simple. You c-can't return 'cause ya opened it and it t-took a lot of time to get here, it barely made it in time for your b-birthday, and I ordered it months ago and…. ya d-don't l-like it?"

Cartman has his arms crossed over his chest and he's already bored of the conversation.

"I don't want this color. So just change it for a blue one."

Now Butters might have been a bit of a slave to Cartman in the past and he might still be a pushover now that they're dating but a boy could only take so much before the inevitable happened.

"No, Eric, I got ya this here phone and I ain't g-getting' you another one."

Cartman's arms drop to his side and Butters actually thinks that the confused look he's making is kinda cute but still he's not backing down.

"Um, Butters? I told you to trade it."

"I don't c-care, I ain't gonna do it."

"It's my birthday! You're supposed to do whatever I want plus you're **my **boyfriend, so just do it already!"

Instead of answering Butters had stormed out of Cartman's house. In an argument against Cartman he knew he didn't stand a chance. Butters had never liked fighting and Cartman had always been persuasive. It also didn't help that Butters got a little hot every time his boyfriend started to yell.

So to stop himself from giving into Cartman's demand and to fight the temptation of angry birthday sex Butters had no choice but to go home.

That had been on Sunday but by the next day Butters was torn between staying mad or getting over it. He had never liked confrontations but when it turned out that Cartman was choosing to not speak to him he decided to do the same.

It was an odd fight, their first real fight, because the boys weren't talking to each other and were not as handsy as they usually were but they still couldn't seem to keep their distance from one another.

Butters had always loved any affection he could get and Cartman had loved that he could simultaneously show off how much action he was getting while making Butters happy but during their fight their usual public makeouts/dryhumping was replaced by hand holding, Cartman's arm around Butters' waist, and Butters occasionally sitting on Cartman's lap.

Their friends were more relieved to be eating lunch without a live sex show going on in front of them and were sure that the two would work things out but as the week continued hanging out with both of them was just awkward and it wasn't as if you could invite one without the other.

If you had one of them then they'd both show up. It was just natural for them to be together hand in hand even if it was in complete silence.

The two just automatically gravitated toward each other because like I said before that was just how fate wanted them to be.

So the week passed and South Park itself remained uneventful during that time mainly because its biggest problem, a.k.a. Cartman, was busy dealing with his own problems.

Even before the two became boyfriends they had a habit of hanging out all Saturday for a sleepover which as their relationship changed from friends to lovers so did its purpose. Both now and then they usually slept over at Cartman's house because the Stotch parents were really no fun and Liane didn't care what the boys did while she was gone for hours at a time.

So even if the two weren't on speaking terms at the moment it just made sense to them that on Saturday Butters would show up at Cartman's front door ready to spend the night.

At this point he didn't even need to bring anything over. Half of his wardrobe was in Cartman's bedroom, mostly gifts that the blonde's parents would never approve of their son wearing even if the clothes were boyfriend approved. As for the sleeping arrangement, well, they'd always shared a bed but now the two had a new reason to be sleeping together.

Normally the two would be somewhere in the process of 'sleeping' together. However, the two weren't talking and hadn't even kissed for a week so sex wasn't happening any time soon.

Instead they both sat on the couch, Butters sipping on yet another milkshake that Cartman had made for him. Sure Butters usually did most of the cooking for the two but Cartman was really good with desserts and enjoyed treating his boyfriend every now and then. So while Butters was focused on trying getting the thick liquid through the straw, Cartman spent half his time watching the tv and the other half staring at his oblvious lover.

The sounds that the blonde was making sucking at his drink and the way his lips were pursued made Cartman want to apologize. Yeah, hand holding and lap sitting was cute but by this point in their relationship Cartman was used much more when it came to their physical connection but still he had to prove a point.

Even he had to admit that he was being a jerk on Sunday. Butters had looked so cute and excited, rocking back and forth on his heels, hands clasped behind his back, and, like always, a wide grin on his face, and he had ruined that with his lack of outward appreciation for his gift. Inwards he was always appreciative of his boyfriend even if he didn't voice it but the only person he'd ever consider giving a genuine 'thank you' to was Butters but at the same time he was battling his natural selfishness. He had never before taken 'no' as an answer and had rarely ever been told it by the blonde. He really did love the phone. People were not only jealous that he had one but they were also jealous of the fact that he had a boyfriend who would do anything for him.

Well, not _anything _because Butters still hadn't bought him the blue phone.

At first he thought that Butters had been lying when he had said that he couldn't return it. Cartman had spent many resources and a lot of time just looking for the company who made the phone and when he finally met the right people it turned out Butters wasn't lying. That should've been obvious though Butters just doesn't lie. Cartman was a bit concerned about what kind of connections Butters had to even hear about this phone but that concern was short-lived and all other thoughts disappeared when his eye caught the glisten of liquid on Butters' upper lip.

Cartman was having a difficult time just looking at Butters' milk moustache.

Part of him wanted to laugh but it was the opposing decision that ultimately won.

Butters' eyes went wide and despite all that had happened that week his lips worked with Cartman, who had swept in for a kiss. The brunette loomed over Butters, who shifted slightly so that he was lying underneath, and he pulled away with a smile.

"Ya ain't m-mad at me no more?"

"Nah, just…" Cartman's tongue swipes at Butters' upper lip cleaning off the milkshake, "Let's just get over that already."

Butters nods and leans back in with another kiss. He's missed being like this, Cartman pressed up against him, tongue in his mouth, and hands roaming.

He'd be touching Cartman back but he's trying his best to not drop his milkshake and doing that, along with a couple of other things, is getting harder.

They break for a second to catch their breath, Cartman licking his own lips now as he eyes his boyfriend.

"Eric…"

Cartman takes that as his invitation to continue and Butters reaches over to try and put his cup, still half-filled, on the table besides the two but the distraction of Cartman nipping at his neck makes him gasp and his drink spills onto the table and all over Cartman's new phone.

Butters pushes Cartman off and gets off the couch and onto the floor in an attempt to save the phone from the liquid. He lifts the hem of his shirt up to wipe the phone clean but Cartman's more preoccupied with the sight of Butters' skin than with worry for his cellular device.

The phone is dropped to the floor as Butters is lifted off it and onto Cartman's lap.

"Forget it, babe. Now you can just get me the blue one."

Butters shifts so that he can see Cartman better, straddling his lap.

"Ya ain't gonna g-give up on that, huh?"

The brunette shakes his head and brings his forehead to rest on Butters' as he moves his hands under his shirt to feel the skin that his own has become accustomed to.

Butters' hands move to cup Cartman's face and he presses himself closer.

"I d-don't see why you're m-makin' this such a big deal, Eric. I thought red was your f-favorite color."

"Yeah, but… it doesn't remind me of you. Blue does."

Cartman moves Butters onto his back so that he's lying on top of him again.

"That's kinda corny ya know."

"Shut up, Butters, I'm trying to be thoughtful."

Butters laughs a bit, wrapping his legs around Cartman's waist. Sure this might be a natural reaction by now but this is still where Butters wants to be and it's all he's ever know, being there for Cartman.

"I'm just pl-playin' with ya. It's real sweet of ya, Eric, sayin' stuff like that."

"When I tell you things like this, this is how I feel. I really love you."

Another difference between now and the day that Cartman asked Butters out is that Cartman's starting to learn the right things to say.

Maybe it's because he's learning that they're some pretty good benefits and he's always been good at determining those. Sex being an obvious benefit, not that he's ever had to work hard for it because most of the time it's the blonde makes the first move and since the two haven't done anything in a week, having skipped their first opportunity of birthday sex, both boys are more than ready to make up for the lost time and affection but looking down at those baby blues and that ever growing smile on his face…..

"I love ya too, Eric."

Cartman thinks that that's the best benefit.

It later turns out that one of the features of Cartman's new phone was that it's water-proof, even to the extent that Butters' vanilla milkshake had no effect on it.

Luckily for Cartman Butters changes his mind and gets the brunette the blue phone anyways and keeps the red for himself.

Blue has always reminded Cartman of Butters and red has always reminded Butters of….

Well, the answer to that should be obvious by now ;)

**A/N: This was going to be much shorter but like usual I got carried away… Oh, well…**

**-So yeah this was for xStylennyButtmanx:**

**You always leave the sweetest reviews and I always love talking to you! You get me excited to keep on writing and you always make me smile :)**

**Happy Birthday 3 3 3**

**-when people review I always try to send a pm and thank them because really you all make me sooooo happy :)**

**But then there's the guest reviewers who for obvious reasons I can't contact and thank**

**Honestly even if you have no plans on ever writing anything you should still make a profile so you can save stories you like and make friends**

**But still this is what'll do for the guest reviewers**

**If you leave a guest review but do so under a name that isn't 'guest' than I'll thank you in a similar one shot. For example if you guest review this than I'll thank you in my next Buttman story (and im ALWAYS getting ideas for new ones)**

**-so working on this new rule of mine:**

**-to JustEve on 'You're Thinking Cookies, I'm Thinking' : thanks for the love and I'm just glad to share the happiness 3**

**-to Chinese Twinkie on 'You're Thinking Cookies, I'm Thinking': Jeez, thanks for all that love :) You're pretty funny! It took me awhile but here's another story for them! I just can't seem to keep myself from writing Buttman stories but no regrets. I just love them 3 p.s. yeah I love this website but sometimes it can have some issues….. p.p.s. behave yourself! Getting grounded is Butters' hobby!**

**-just a general thank you to everyone for reading!**

**Until next time 3**


End file.
